June 19, 2025

Helicopter Parenting vs. Resilience: Lessons from Mindset Matters

When Steffany and I hit record for Mindset Matters Episode 190, I wanted to celebrate Father’s Day—but the conversation veered into a hard truth: despite our best intentions, we parents lay down the very limiting beliefs we spend adulthood trying to uproot. Watching my grandkids grow while coaching thousands of young athletes and entrepreneurs has convinced me of one thing: over-protection is the new playground bully. If we keep rescuing our kids, they never build the resilience muscles they’ll need when we’re no longer there to answer the phone mid-board-meeting.

I flashed back to my own childhood. A class bully named Jody pushed me around until Mom suggested I stand up to him. The day I finally pushed back—heart pounding, knees shaking—Jody stopped. We even became friends. That single micro-victory rewired my self-worth far more effectively than any lecture ever could. Fast-forward to today: many well-meaning parents call the teacher, coach or CEO the instant a child feels discomfort. The result? Kids outsource problem-solving instead of practicing it.

Steffany’s story was even starker. At age four she nearly panicked in the deep end; her dad plucked her out, locked eyes with Mom…and tossed her back. That decisive moment turned fear of drowning into lifelong confidence—proof that struggle, in a safe container, is what turns caterpillars into butterflies.

So, from one dad (and grandpa) to every caregiver reading this, here are my five key takeaways from this episode

1. Challenge Builds Character – Whether it’s mowing a neighbour’s lawn or getting picked last for sports, let kids taste small stakes adversity early and often.
2. Watch Your Words – Phrases like “money doesn’t grow on trees” program scarcity. Re-frame with growth-minded language: “Let’s figure out how to earn it.”
3. Boundaries Beat Bail-Outs – Be the safety net, not the stunt double. Your job is to set clear limits and values, then let children test them.
4. Model Respect Through Relationships – Sons learn to treat women from how Mom enforces boundaries; daughters choose partners based on Dad’s example. Check your partnership dynamics.
5. Seek Mentors, Not Messiahs – If a skill or mindset isn’t your strength, invite coaches, teachers or community leaders to fill the gap. Collective guidance beats solo perfectionism.

Parenting is still the “hardest—and most important—job in the world,” as my mom once said. You’ll mess up (trust me, I did), but if you stay mindful of the silent scripts you’re passing on, your children will emerge with the confidence, resilience and mindset to design lives even better than ours.

Ready to dive deeper? Listen to Mindset Matters Episode 190 wherever you get your podcasts, and subscribe for weekly conversations on personal development, mindset coaching and conscious parenting. Together, we can rewrite the next generation’s belief systems—one courageous conversation at a time.