February 6, 2025
Is Life Fair? Why Fairness is a Flawed Concept and What to Do Instead
Fairness. It’s a word we hear constantly. From politics to business, relationships to sports, the concept of fairness is thrown around as if it’s a universal truth. But what if fairness is just an illusion?
The problem with fairness is that it’s entirely subjective. What feels fair to one person might feel completely unfair to another. Think about a business deal where two parties agree on terms, only for one to later regret the arrangement because they feel the other person benefited more. The deal was initially considered fair—until the outcome changed their perspective.
This happens all the time. People say, “That’s not fair,” when what they really mean is, “That didn’t turn out how I wanted.”
Instead of chasing fairness, I believe the real focus should be on agreements, merit, and personal responsibility. Life isn’t designed to be fair—it’s designed to reward those who take action, adapt, and create their own opportunities.
Key Takeaways on Fairness and Success
- Fairness is Subjective – What one person considers fair, another may see as unfair. It’s based on perception, not objective truth.
- Fairness vs. Evenness – Equal treatment doesn’t always mean fair treatment. Merit and contribution often matter more.
- The Victim Mindset Trap – Constantly feeling like life isn’t fair creates a victim mentality that stifles growth and success.
- Agreements Matter More Than Fairness – Clear agreements remove ambiguity. If both parties agree upfront, revisiting fairness later is irrelevant.
- Focus on Possibility, Not Fairness – Instead of waiting for a fair outcome, take action to create opportunities that benefit you.
The Role of Fairness in Society
Fairness is often used as a political buzzword. We’re told that taxes should be “fair,” wages should be “fair,” and opportunities should be “fair.” But when governments push for fairness, are they really advocating for what’s right, or just manipulating language to appeal to emotions?
Many people are drawn into the idea that life should be fair. But fairness, in the way it’s often framed, doesn’t account for effort, merit, or personal decisions. A meritocracy rewards hard work and value creation, whereas a system built entirely on fairness removes personal accountability and discourages excellence.
In relationships, the idea of fairness can also create conflict. One partner may feel like they contribute more, do more, or sacrifice more than the other. But is fairness really the issue, or is it a lack of clear agreements and communication?
Shifting the Focus: From Fairness to Action
Instead of spending energy on whether something is fair, the more empowering question is: What can I do about it? If life isn’t fair, how can you create better opportunities for yourself? If a situation feels unfair, what agreements or boundaries need to be in place?
The truth is, fairness is an illusion. Waiting for things to be fair is a losing strategy. Success comes from taking ownership, making clear agreements, and focusing on what you can control.
If you shift your mindset away from fairness and toward possibility, you’ll find that life isn’t about getting what’s fair—it’s about creating what’s possible.
