Episode #253 – Mike Phillips – Leadership Starts With You, But It’s Never About You, with Mike Phillips

“It’s not what I said, but what you heard. The power of communication is in the person receiving the communication.” – Mike Phillips



  • Leadership may start with you, but according to leadership educator, keynote speaker and coach Mike Phillips, it should never be about you.
  • In this episode of The Everyday Millionaire, Patrick Francey sits down with Mike for a wide-ranging conversation about what separates true leadership from simply holding a leadership title. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in leadership, coaching, automotive sales and marketing, Mike shares why the best leaders remain committed learners and why earning the trust of the people around you matters more than the title on your business card.
  • Mike and Patrick explore the essential qualities of effective leadership, including vision, grit, character, accountability and, perhaps most importantly, communication. Mike explains why communication is ultimately measured not by what a leader says, but by what the other person actually hears. From unexpressed expectations to assumptions and unclear instructions, they examine how seemingly small communication gaps can create unnecessary friction within teams.
  • The conversation also turns deeply personal as Mike discusses his Christian faith and the role it plays in his approach to leadership, service and relationships. He shares his belief that genuine leadership requires caring about people beyond the results they produce.
  • Mike then recounts the extraordinary experience that profoundly changed his perspective on life. After becoming critically ill with COVID-19 in 2021, developing pneumonia and ultimately suffering the collapse of both lungs, Mike says he died before being revived. He spent approximately 40 days in hospital and emerged with a dramatically different understanding of purpose, family, faith and contribution.
  • His experience provides a powerful reminder that achievement means little if it comes at the expense of health, relationships and the people who matter most.
  • This conversation explores leadership beyond titles and tactics. It is about learning to lead yourself, communicate with clarity, serve others, face adversity with grit and recognize that sometimes the smallest next step can represent an enormous victory.
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  • Timestamped show notes
  • 00:00 | Introduction
    Patrick introduces Mike Phillips, leadership educator, keynote speaker, coach, automotive industry veteran, host of The Leadership Toolkit and founder of Lead The Team.

  • 01:22 | Who Is Mike Phillips?
    Mike describes himself first as a Christ follower and father, followed professionally by his work as a leadership educator, coach and speaker.

  • 03:29 | “Leadership Starts With You, But It’s Never About You”
    Mike explains his central leadership philosophy. Leadership begins with the ability to lead yourself, develop consistent habits and be willing to go first.

  • 05:00 | Give the Wins Away, Own the Problems
    A leader should give credit and accolades to the team while accepting responsibility when things go wrong.

  • 06:59 | Great Leaders Are Great Learners
    Mike argues that the greatest leaders are also the greatest learners. Curiosity, observation and learning from both success and failure are essential.

  • 09:49 | Boss Versus Leader
    Patrick recalls reading Boss Is a Four-Letter Word early in his career and how it changed his perception of authority and leadership.

  • 11:21 | Does Leadership Change With the Role?
    Mike and Patrick examine how leadership requirements differ between CEOs, CFOs, sales managers, IT leaders and other roles while still sharing common principles.

  • 15:24 | Vision, Grit, Character and Accountability
    They discuss a leader’s responsibility to communicate a vision and support people through the difficult process of achieving it.

  • 17:30 | Accountability Through Agreement
    Mike explains his preference for leading through agreement rather than constantly “holding people accountable.” Leaders can remind people of commitments they have already made.

  • 19:07 | Leaders Still Have to Produce Results
    Past accomplishments aren’t enough. Effective leaders must continue producing meaningful results.

  • 20:00 | The Danger of Unexpressed Expectations
    Patrick discusses how assumptions and expectations that have never been clearly communicated create unnecessary friction within teams.

  • 21:20 | Clarity Equals Velocity
    Patrick shares the principle that greater clarity creates greater momentum by removing uncertainty and friction.

  • 22:36 | Communication Is About What They Heard
    Mike explains that successful communication isn’t determined by what the leader believes they said. It is determined by what the recipient actually heard.

  • 23:42 | The Peanut Butter and Jelly Exercise
    Mike shares a simple communication exercise illustrating how easily seemingly obvious instructions can be misunderstood.

  • 26:24 | Listening Versus Actually Hearing
    Patrick and Mike explore advanced communication skills including listening, body language, tone, inflection, unasked questions and noticing what someone does not say.

  • 28:37 | Tony Robbins and Reading Body Language
    Mike recounts a Tony Robbins exercise demonstrating how accurately people can interpret activities simply by observing movement, breathing and body language.

  • 31:13 | Chris Voss and Never Split the Difference
    Patrick references Chris Voss’s negotiation book and its lessons around communication and negotiation.

  • 31:55 | Chet Holmes, Jay Conrad Levinson and Mirroring
    Patrick shares a memorable story about watching Chet Holmes mirror a senior executive’s body language during a sales meeting and ultimately leave with the deal.

  • 34:05 | Faith-Based Leadership
    Mike explains how his Christian faith informs his approach to leadership and why he believes leaders should genuinely care about the people they lead.

  • 36:26 | Creating Space for Men to Be Vulnerable
    Mike discusses a men’s retreat and the importance of giving men environments where they can speak openly about failure, pressure and personal struggles.

  • 38:11 | Patrick’s Perspective on God and Higher Power
    Patrick shares his own perspective on God, consciousness, nature and a higher power while discussing the Bible as a framework for living.

  • 41:04 | Faith, Community and “Most of Us Are Like the Rest of Us”
    Mike discusses the danger of isolation and the tendency to believe we’re the only ones experiencing a particular struggle.

  • 42:48 | Financial and Health Struggles
    Mike describes a period of financial difficulty and significant health challenges and the importance of becoming vulnerable enough to talk about them.

  • 45:00 | “I Died From COVID”
    Mike begins the remarkable story of becoming critically ill with COVID-19 in 2021.

  • 45:50 | The Cost of Constantly Working
    Before becoming ill, Mike had been focused intensely on business, working hard and building his career while neglecting himself and time with his family.

  • 47:01 | COVID, Pneumonia and Hospitalization
    After becoming seriously ill, Mike was diagnosed with COVID-19, pneumonia and another illness and eventually required hospitalization.

  • 47:36 | Both Lungs Collapse
    Shortly after being released from hospital, both of Mike’s lungs collapsed at home. A previous collapsed lung from a hockey injury allowed him to recognize the sensation.

  • 48:42 | A Life-Saving Intervention
    Mike recounts losing consciousness and later learning that he grabbed the doctor’s wrist as they prepared to ventilate him, insisting that wasn’t what he needed. The doctor reconsidered, ordered imaging and later told Mike ventilation could have caused catastrophic damage.

  • 50:00 | Approximately 40 Days in Hospital
    Mike describes the long recovery and how the experience deepened his connection to faith and forced him to reconsider his priorities.

  • 50:36 | “What’s Your Chair Today?”
    Unable to walk normally, Mike set himself the goal of moving approximately six feet from his hospital bed to a chair. The experience became a lesson in grit, progress and focusing on the next achievable step.

  • 52:36 | How the Experience Changed Mike
    Mike says the experience probably changed him first as a person, helping him separate his identity from his work and focus instead on how he could contribute to others.

  • 54:51 | Looking After Yourself Isn’t Selfish
    Patrick discusses why leaders need to recognize themselves as essential to their families, teams and communities and why self-care can ultimately be a selfless act.

  • 55:43 | When Life Turns Up the Volume
    Patrick recalls advice from a wellness coach: if you don’t hear the messages the universe sends, eventually it may turn up the volume.

  • 56:33 | Rapid Fire
    Mike chooses Apple, names the original Star Wars trilogy and Dead Poets Society among his favourite movies, and names Toby Keith as a musical favourite.

  • 57:21 | Mike’s Pivotal Leadership Book
    Mike recommends John C. Maxwell’s The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

  • 58:11 | What Mike Hopes God Will Say
    Mike hopes his life reflects an effort to serve God and people well.

  • 58:39 | Gratitude
    Mike expresses gratitude for reconnecting with Patrick and, most importantly, for the unconditional love, laughter and connection within his family.

  • 59:32 | Closing
    Patrick thanks Mike and closes the episode.

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