November 7, 2024
Life Transitions: Rediscovering Our True Selves
Who are we if not for the roles we fill? It’s a question that has surfaced time and again, especially when I speak with people in transition. Whether they’re retiring, transitioning to an empty nest, or leaving behind long-time careers, the uncertainty about who they are beyond these roles can be unsettling. Many find their identities wrapped in what they do rather than who they are, making these shifts feel like they’re losing a part of themselves.
Yet, imagine the freedom of defining our identity not by our job titles or life roles, but by what truly brings us joy, purpose, and fulfillment. Embracing this mindset shift can be challenging. In a world that so often asks, “What do you do?” it can feel as if we’re expected to answer with our profession or role. But what if, instead, we answered with what we love, what drives us, or what gives us purpose? Who would we become if our identity was shaped by these values rather than by a label?
Throughout life, we all experience change, and each major transition provides a unique chance to uncover our core, our “gold” beneath the surface. For those familiar with the parable of the Golden Buddha, the story reveals how a clay statue hid a solid gold core for centuries. The clay was added as a protective layer to shield the Buddha from invaders. Over time, the layers became so thick that people forgot there was gold underneath until a crack revealed the treasure within. Similarly, beneath the layers of labels and expectations lies our authentic self, often forgotten but no less valuable.
Key Takeaways:
- Identity Beyond Roles: Our true selves extend far beyond any job title, career, or family role. It’s vital to remember that we’re not solely defined by these roles but by our intrinsic qualities and values.
- Transitions as Opportunities: Major life changes, while daunting, offer us a chance to reflect, rediscover, and redefine who we are on our terms.
- Seek Purpose and Passion: Anchoring identity in purpose and passion, rather than external titles, provides a deeper and more lasting source of fulfillment.
- Embrace Authenticity: Living authentically is not always easy, especially when it means challenging societal expectations, but it offers true freedom and alignment.
- Self-Reflection is Key: Regularly reflecting on our values and passions helps us stay connected to what genuinely drives us, making each stage of life more meaningful.
When we start to see our identity as something fluid—open to growth and aligned with our passions—we’re freed from the constraints of fixed roles and static titles. Life’s transitions become less about losing a part of ourselves and more about peeling back the layers, inviting our true selves to the surface.
For many, particularly those who have been in a career or a single role for decades, this redefinition can feel daunting. The fear of letting go of an identity tied to a job, family role, or social status is real. However, taking the time to explore these questions early can reduce the shock of these changes. If we can anchor our sense of self in values and purpose rather than external roles, we prepare ourselves for smoother, more fulfilling transitions.
A valuable exercise is to ask ourselves, “Who am I if I’m not a ______?” Fill in the blank with any title or role: parent, CEO, teacher, partner. Then, go deeper. What are the core values and passions that truly define who we are? This introspection isn’t about dismissing our achievements or roles but about allowing them to enhance our understanding of ourselves without letting them limit us.
Ultimately, our journey is to discover the gold within. When we take the time to strip away the layers of expectations, we uncover our authentic selves. In doing so, we find a lasting fulfillment—one that comes not from what we do or what title we hold, but from aligning with what we love, the passions that drive us, and the contributions we feel called to make.
This ongoing journey of self-discovery is humbling, but it is also deeply empowering. True fulfillment, I believe, arises when we align with our passions and purpose rather than the roles we play. By embracing this outlook, we can move through life’s transitions with grace, knowing that each stage is another chance to become more aligned with who we are truly meant to be.
