There comes a point in life when you look around and realize that things have changed. Maybe your kids have grown up and moved out. Maybe your career, the one you’ve spent decades building, no longer excites you. Perhaps your relationship has changed, or you’ve reached a level of success you once dreamed about, only to find yourself wondering, Is this it?
It’s an interesting place to find yourself.
For many people, this happens somewhere around 50, although it can happen much earlier or later. We call it a midlife crisis, but I’m not convinced that’s always what it is.
What if it’s simply the beginning of a new era?
When What You Do Becomes Who You Are
Think about how we define ourselves. I’m a CEO. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a parent. I’m a husband or wife. We spend years building these roles, and somewhere along the way, they become part of our identity.
But what happens when those roles change?
Steffany experienced this firsthand when she left her position as skating coach for the Edmonton Oilers. For nine years, that role was a significant part of how she saw herself and how others interacted with her.
When it ended, she had to confront an uncomfortable question: Who am I without that title?
It’s a question worth asking ourselves long before life forces us to answer it.
You Don’t Have to Blow Up Your Life
When something feels off, our instinct is often to look outside ourselves for the solution. A new job, a new relationship, a new car, a completely different lifestyle.
And sometimes change is necessary.
But here’s the thing: wherever you go, there you are.
Before making dramatic changes, consider taking an honest inventory of your life. What’s working? What’s not? What matters to you today that perhaps didn’t matter 20 years ago?
Our values don’t necessarily change, but their priorities often do.
The person you needed to be while raising young children or building a business may not be the person you need to become for your next chapter.
Taking Ownership of What’s Next
One of the principles we talk about frequently is extreme ownership.
Regardless of where you find yourself today, you have an opportunity to examine the choices, behaviours and beliefs that brought you here.
Not to blame yourself. Not to dwell on the past. But to learn from it.
Then comes the more important question: Who do I need to become to create what I want next?
That’s where clarity becomes powerful.
Five Takeaways
- Your identity is bigger than your role. Your career, relationships and responsibilities are important parts of your life, but they aren’t the entirety of who you are.
- Reflection comes before reinvention. Before changing everything around you, understand what’s actually missing.
- Take ownership of your next chapter. Recognize what brought you here and make conscious decisions about what comes next.
- Allow yourself to grieve and celebrate. Even positive transitions can involve loss. Acknowledge what you’re leaving behind while appreciating what you’re moving toward.
- Seek completion, not just change. Unfinished conversations, unresolved feelings and unexpressed gratitude can follow us into the future. Consider what needs to be completed before moving forward.
A New Era, Not an Ending
One of the most meaningful parts of our conversation was about completion.
Recently, I reached out to an old friend to tell him how much he’d meant to me. A couple of months later, he passed away. I’m grateful I had that conversation because there was nothing left unsaid.
Life moves forward whether we’re ready or not.
The opportunity is to move forward consciously, bringing the lessons, relationships and experiences that serve us, while letting go of what no longer does.
You don’t need to throw away everything you’ve built to create something meaningful next.
Sometimes, you simply need to get clear about who you are, what matters now and who you want to become.
Clarity equals velocity.
And your next era might be the most meaningful one yet.