Episode 161 – Daphne Jones – Teaching Wisdom to the World

“Winning is received at the end, but it’s really conceived in the beginning, in the mind, when you first think of it. So many people do not believe or have the mindset to believe that they can win. Winning is really a decision.” – Daphne Jones

  • [0:42] Patrick introduces his next TEDM guest, Daphne Jones.
  • [02:25] Daphne and Patrick get rolling, as Daphne eloquently shares her contribution in the world!
  • [03:14] As an upcoming best-selling author, Daphne explains why she chose to write this book, and her intention for its message.
  • [06:34] Daphne recounts a story at the age of 8 which starts with her mother identifying her as British not black, and an ensuing physical and racial assault that left Daphne feeling negatively different. That experience would one day ignite her desire to broaden her reach get her message published.
  • [11:19] Though she had the voices of two people in her ear with contradicting messages, her mother telling her “education is everything, everything is education go, go go” and the other her high school guidance counselor telling her “black girls don’t go to college but if they do, they won’t get hired” Daphne chose to predominantly pull strength from the voice of her mother.
  • [15:20] Daphne and Patrick discuss the systemic nature of racism that is built into the fabric of how we live and work and how Daphne addresses it in her book.
  • [19:02] Daphne shares her fork in the road moment after taking her guidance counselor’s advice and going to secretarial school. It came as an epiphany at her first job that the only difference between her and her boss was that he went to college. It was then she resolved she wasn’t going to be a secretary; she was going to go to college and have one.
  • [23:49] Daphne describes the messages and impact her parents each had on her life.
  • [27:13] In her early days with IBM Illinois, there were not many of people of colour in positions like hers in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math and it wasn’t until she moved with her husband to Texas that she started seeing more African Americans in that role.
  • [31:33] Getting back to the book, there were at least two key messages that Daphne desired to share more expansively beyond picking up the microphone at singular events. The first is mindset; the second, like a product, we can and must continuously improve ourselves to constantly add value. Mindset, toolset, skillset: Daphne highlights the process of mindset to toolset which leads to a lifelong skillset.
  • [37:50] Everyone has won at some point in their life. Big or small, recall and identify the mechanics behind that last win, then just do it again and go after your next win!
  • [42:45] In her experience over the last couple of years, with the global situation and personal health challenges, Daphne began to re-examine her purpose, got real with herself, and made a clear decision.
  • [48:16] “How you look at the problem is the problem.” If you look at a problem like it’s about you, then you have one set of inwardly focused answers. When we align the problem with our purpose and contribution, it’s much easier to answer and it changes our view of our world.
  • [50:25] Although always inspired to make a difference, it wasn’t until she got her breast cancer diagnosis that Daphne began to reflect on her values, more deeply commit to her purpose, and realize who and what were most important to her.
  • [53:24] Daphne defines the “Five Fs” she talks about in her book alongside a personal story of relationship to illustrate the importance of looking after all five areas; not just one or two. Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances and Furthering our Career.
  • [60:57] How does Daphne view the life she’s lived and the accomplishments she has achieved?
  • [63:41] Rolling down into the rarely rapid fire: Daphne’s fitness and mindful self-care routine; impactful books; favourite swear word; favourite inspirational quote; message at the pearly gates; room-desk-car; favourite musical artists; favourite movies and why.
  • [70:38] Daphne’s gratitude.

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