Episode 159 – Kristin Keffeler – The Positive Power of Wealth & The Inner Work of Money

“We all have a story around money, we all have a relationship to it, and whether it is healthy and conscious and clear or totally submerged in unconscious, is really up to how we were raised, what we absorbed from the messages around us and then how much of our own work we’ve done around it.” – Kristin Keffeler

  • [0:42] Patrick introduces his next TEDM guest, Kristin Keffeler.
  • [01:56] Kristin and Patrick get their conversation underway as she unpacks who she supports, why it’s necessary and through her research and work what she has found gets harder for wealthy families.
  • [08:07] Dispelling a myth, Kristin discusses the reality for some high-net-worth individuals, or high-income earners, and their relationship with wealth.
  • [10:31] Our “money story” is often embedded in the relationships we observed growing up, and Kristin suggests the work we do around money to gain a healthier relationship with it as adults, is some of the most difficult.
  • [14:47] Kristin observes in the affluent families she works with that often clients either overidentify with their wealth (I am my family’s money, I don’t know who I would be without it) or underidentify with it (distance themselves, reject that part of their narrative). She advises clients to approach it more like a teeter-totter. Zoom out to understand and recognize the privilege you have, not from guilt but from blessing and figure out your own voice and identity within it.
  • [20:41] Kristin identifies that the work to be done around assessing our belief systems and understanding of money is not unique to the uber wealthy; we all have a relationship to money – healthy or unhealthy. Kristin goes on to discuss the concept of “money clutter” and relays a personal story of how she became aware of it.
  • [28:04] The first thing we need to do in assessing our relationship with money is to pay attention to our overall mindset, the filter through which we take things in. Are we operating from a scarcity mindset or abundance mindset?
  • [29:23] Kristin reminds us that money truly is energy and currency (current-cy). Like a current it can flow to and from us, and our mindfulness around it has an effect. Money wants to be in motion.
  • [32:20] Of the second question we can ask to test our relationship with money, Kristin reframes it from a broad and ambiguous question (what is your relationship to money?) to a deeper embodiment experience.
  • [34:44] Kristin shares what “doing the work” looked like for her to improve her own relationship with money after her husband pointed out the mindset he observed. Books, self awareness, intentionality, and physicality all played a part.
  • [41:43] Building on those fundamentals, Kristin shares another story from her personal life to illustrate her self-observation and development.
  • [44:02] Kristin and Patrick discuss financial dependency in the context of relationship and social constructs.
  • [48:48] Growing up in the same family doesn’t always equate to the same experience. Kristin reflects on the experience she had of her family’s wealth as the youngest child vs. her older brothers who had a much different lens to view their upbringing.
  • [53:18] Resourceful and independent, Kristin was used to forging her path but at times she felt the weight of her family’s financial success as intimidating and a prohibitively high bar to measure up to. Eventually, her desire for larger impact summoned the needed courage to build her own business and the financial rewards as a result.
  • [59:22] Success. Although Kristin could likely find a way to define it for herself in a way that felt good, she has a different take and form of measure. Patrick and Kristin each share external perspectives they have encountered around the notion of success.
  • [67:10] Kristin shares her inspiration and drive behind the creation of her book The Myth of the Silver Spoon, Navigating Family Wealth and Creating an Impactful Life, as well as her desired impact. She discusses clutter – money, relationship, identity, and contribution – and what we can do to clear it.
  • [75:32] Tackling another myth, aligning nicely with the book title, Kristin talks about the psychology that can entangle a person born into wealth.
  • [78:04] Dipping into the rapid fire! Favourite swear word; favourite music artists; favourite movie from the way-back machine; room-desk-car; message at the pearly gates.
  • [80:46] Kristin’s gratitude.

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