October 17, 2024

Unlocking the Cage: How to Break Free from Guilt and Shame

I’ve worked with countless people over the years, and one thing I’ve noticed is how often we hold ourselves back. We get stuck in invisible cages—self-imposed limits created by feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. These emotions can become so ingrained that we don’t even realize they’re shaping our decisions, behaviors, and overall approach to life. But the reality is, just like a bird trapped in an open cage, the door to our freedom is often wide open. We just have to recognize that we’re the ones keeping ourselves stuck.

Many of us carry the weight of our past, believing that because of mistakes or failures, we don’t deserve to fly. Whether it’s trauma from our childhood, the expectations of our parents, or the standards we’ve set for ourselves, we allow these invisible forces to hold us back. But the truth is, our past doesn’t have to define our future.

Key Takeaways:

1. Guilt and Shame Are Invisible Cages: These emotions can become so internalized that they act like a prison, holding us back from taking risks and pursuing our goals.
2. The Door to Freedom Is Open: Often, the only thing keeping us trapped is our own perception of past mistakes. The opportunity to break free and spread our wings is always available.
3. Self-Reflection Is Crucial: Taking the time to examine where our feelings of guilt and shame come from is essential for healing and growth.
4. We Are Not Our Past: Our past does not dictate who we are today. By releasing old stories and limiting beliefs, we create space for new possibilities.
5. Embrace Vulnerability: It’s brave to acknowledge our emotions and wounds. Vulnerability opens the door to transformation and freedom.

I know firsthand how challenging it can be to confront these emotions. I’ve had my own journey of facing guilt and shame, particularly in my relationship with my father. For years, I carried feelings of inadequacy and regret, believing that I had to live up to certain expectations. It wasn’t until I started doing the work—self-reflection, therapy, and letting go of the past—that I realized I’d been holding myself back. The truth was, my wings had always been strong enough; I just needed to trust myself.

If you find yourself stuck, ask whether it’s the cage or your fear that’s keeping you there. Maybe you’ve been operating under a story you’ve carried for years—something about what you “should” do, how you “should” be, or what others expect of you. It’s time to let that go. We all have the potential to soar, but it requires recognizing the limits we’ve imposed on ourselves and choosing to step out of the cage.